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Make love to me

After thinking about it for a while, I decided not to journal my experiences in chronological order. Instead, I'm just going to write whatever pops into my mind on any particular day.

On Saturday, April 14th, at 2pm I got off the bus. As usual I had on a casual attire - a tank top with a pattern of an elephant and booty shorts. I walked rather confidently into the hotel lobby, still feeling excited about my new arm tattoo of my favourite book cover.

Prior to that meeting, we had been talking for a couple of days online, except that I wasn't really keen on having a conversation with him. Originally I wasn't even going to agree on this appointment. Somehow, as he persisted on and on, which quite confused me, I finally managed to squeeze out two hours of the day to go and see him. (To be fair, at that time I was still madly head over heels over my boyfriend.)

He was a man in his late forties, even older than my father. As he came down to fetch me, I could tell that he was quite a reserved person working a well-paid conventional job. The reason he was looking for an escort, from my observation, would probably be a) he needs to stop being him for a day b) like any other man, he wants a young girl (preferably a good actress) to caress his lonesome soul.

We exchanged a few greetings. His stature was quite stiff, and he was also careful with words. He didn't speak much, awesome! However, he gave off a pretty distant vibe, and he wouldn't really look me in the eye, not to mention with any passion.

Once we entered his room, I went to the bathroom to take a shower, as I always do. When I came out with only a towel wrapped around my body, I could instantly feel his dreading eyes lit up with desire. As I unwrapped the towel, he whispered something, and I suddenly felt much more confident - he was worshipping my youth, something he had already lost and through me, he felt he could grab onto it again, except that my transient appearance in his life would only leave him yearning for more.

He lay me down and started landing kisses all over my body. One thing I can never stand is for them to kiss me on the lips. You can kiss and lick my vagina however you want, but somehow if your lips touch mine, I will immediately be groped by a strong wave of disgust. Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone, but almost. Although I wasn't quite feeling it, I still let out a few moans and squirmed my body under his touch. When he was done pleasuring me, it was my turn. He lay on his back and beckoned me to straddle him. "Make love to me." He said, with eyes glassy with lust.

Make love to me.

Upon hearing those words, I wanted to chuckle a little. Of course I suppressed my smile. He was serious. I licked his nipples and started kissing his body. Giving him a blowjob, however, had to be real slow; otherwise, he would have cum without entering my body.

After he came for the first time, he showed me a couple of his essays. Oh, he was a writer too! Suddenly I felt quite drawn to the idea. As I was reading his essays, he said to me, "You should speak more. Come on, tell me something about you."

Fuck you. That's what I would say.

Well, of course I only gave him a smile and tried to squeeze out some words in the hopes of satisfying his failed attempt at making a conversation with me.

Nevertheless, he was quite a good writer. His stories also proved him to be quite a sensitive person.

"You should speak more."

And you should shut the fuck up already.

As I left the hotel, I wasn't feeling particularly annoyed or even, any emotion at all. For the next several days he had messaged me, trying to dig into my heart, exposing my fears and insecurities.

He was trying to save me.

Why? Why would he feel the need to save someone through this rather peculiar way? I truly fail to understand the mentality behind all this. Is it because he felt so powerless in his real life, that he felt the need to find someone that would look at him with admiring eyes?

Of course, he paid me, so why wouldn't do what he asked of me? Sometimes I wish I could be a better actress, or simply, a person with enough experiences in life to know how to deal with this swiftly.

On that note I have to sign out as I'm feeling pretty tired... so that's about it for today.


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